Kyle and Mark

Ok, well I haven’t told anyone this except for maybe Mark. For the past few weeks along with this god damn cough I still have, the upper eyelid of my right eye has been twitching, It’s really nerve racking and I have feared that I was getting some kind of facial nerve issue. We don’t have the money for me to goto the doctor to get it checked out and the only thing I can think of is to dope myself up with Tylenol PM so I can sleep at during the day. I’ve been taking it for the past 2 days and I have sleep for a decent amount of time. I knwo it not healthy but it is the best no habit forming thing I can do.

On top of that we are getting into a bind. I am remaining hopelessly optimistic we can manage so way of getting out of it. Our best chance is to win like $3K and that will help greatly. Realistically I don’t see that happeneing. So here I am pondering ways to make money, thinking of things people may want to buy on Ebay. I think the biggest thing that is bugging me is that the more we try to make headway the more we get setback. It is literally a vicous cycle.

I use to be diligently tracking every $.01 we spent but now I find myself angry when I see our negative Net Worth. I’ve ever been dodging calls by bill collectors. I know I should be owning up to our debt and getting things paid off but I can talk to these people anymore, I get to the point of tears at thinking that we are going to loose everything. I feel like it’s all my fault for trying to make our house a home and enjoy life while we have time. I don’t want to cut ourselves off from the world and just eat ramen noodles and peanut butter, but at times that’s all I can see as a solution.

I’ve thought about just quiting WoW and turning off the cable, internet and cell phones. I can’t do it, I know I would just become angry at everything for letting it get that far. I already owe my friends money that I fear I can never pay back. A few hours ago Mark got paid, and already we are out of money. But wait maybe we can manage to hold off on paying something till next week. And the cycle continues. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t developed and ulcer or something from all this.

A Nebraska farmer dies and, being a heathen, goes to Hell. When he gets there its 95 F with 90% humidity, but Satan notices he’s kicked back on the brimstone relaxing comfortably.

He asks, “Why aren’t you miserable like
everyone else here?” The farmer replies, “Oh, this is like a warm spring day in central Nebraska . I like it.”
Angry, Satan turns up the thermostat until its 100 F and 95% humidity.
Still, the farmer’s happy. “This is like a good June day on the farm. Not bad at all.”
Furious, Satan turns it up to 105 F and 99% humidity.
Everyone is even more miserable, except the farmer still resting.
“Hey, this is like a good August day on the farm bailing hay. Feels > good, the hotter the better.”
In a total rage, Satan turns the thermostat down to minus 25 F.
Within seconds, the air becomes chilly and frost appears, soon followed by solid ice everywhere.
Satan smirks, watching the farmer.
The confused farmer looks down at the frozen ground for a moment, Suddenly jumps up excitedly, looks around everywhere and begins to laugh, scream, and jump for joy.

BILL CALLAHAN WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!”

Well I think it’s Friday. This is my 4th night working midshift and I am making the sleep cycle transition pretty well. I am still working out wirh Ten and RRG. I know the first workout we did was BRUTAL, but we managed. When I get home from work on mids I usually eat something very bad for me (eg. 4 or 5 Rice Krispy Treats). But since I have made a commitment to myself to become a healthier and fit person I have been eating something that resembles a normal breakfast.

I foudn out yesterday I won a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart. I think Mark and I are going to use it to restock our ever shrinking surplus of nonperishable food.

I was told yesterday morning that we are taking a few days vacation in October. I asked Mark to e-mail the days he has already scheduled off so I can get them off as well.